Stale worries and breath like a knot in the throat.
I’ve been trying so hard to let go but to no avail, and then one day, out of the blue, I crumple down, tears streaming from my cheeks and I release.
My breath returns and I’m lighter, lighter.
I find myself, and clarity, through surrender.
As the song “In the Sun/Om Mani Padme Hum” came on in my mix earlier today, this happened, as it happens every now and then. My world stops and I’m suddenly able to surrender. When I try to make sense of how this release happens, and what leads me to finally let my worries go, I’m not able to entirely make sense of it. The word grace however comes to mind.
When I look back at the amount of conscious effort I sometimes spend working on letting go of the uncertainty, the fears that haunt my mind, I realize how shitty I can be towards myself (which I’m guessing many of you can relate to) and in turn, can’t help but smile at the fact that time and time again all that my worries, fears and doubts need is a little bit of time to run their course.
And being caught in between all you wish for and all you seen
And trying to find anything you can feel that you can believe in
May God’s love be with you
May God’s love be with you
There’s a lot of talk about letting go, surrendering, and releasing. That we have to do this, that it’s something we need to do, but how do we really go about doing this?
You can read all the books in the world, talk to all the people you can talk to, and yet for the most part, this letting go and surrendering often remains elusive. I’ve come across a pattern however. It’s a building of sorts in which the ego clings and grasping ensues which leads to uneasiness and the desire for these feelings to be gone. It’s usually at this point I tell myself “I need to let go”. And I try. I try my hardest, but in my heart I’m still attached, I cling.
I’ve come to realize however that if we consciously do the work of bringing our awareness to that surrender, it’s not a matter of trying harder but rather of letting time do its own work. And then one day, we inevitably experience a shift.
So we do the work, we show up every day to the best of our abilities and with every little step we get closer. Until one day it happens, we unexpectedly surrender.
“The meaning of this mantra is: with ‘OM’ we are calling Avalokiteshvara, ‘MANI’ means the precious jewel of enlightenment, ‘PADME’ means liberation and ‘HUM’ means bestow. Together, the meaning is: ‘O Avalokiteshvara, please bestow the precious jewel of enlightenment to liberate all living beings. Through the recitation of this mantra we train in the compassionate mind of bodhichitta.” ~ Geshe Kelsang Gyatso
May we all experience this surrendering and the freedom in that liberation, Om Manu Padme Hum.
Originally posted on Rebelle Society.