Monthly Archives: September 2013

A Light Beacon for the Dark Days


Some days we wake up forgetting all about our magnificence.

Some days, it’s like we’re enveloped in a cloud of shit and every step forward gets us further down that slippery slope of self-loathing and destructive thoughts. Those days are hard. It seems like the more you think about it the more you feed into those doubts and the more you bring yourself down. Slip.

This happens. It happens to everyone. I really don’t think anyone can say that they’ve never had a day like this, and well if you can, tell me your secret. Seriously.

These kinds of days can absolutely paralyze me. Everything seems to be happening on the other side of this grey fog and I feel like I’m miles away from everyone else. I’m stuck in darkness while the rest of the world is dancing in light. Slip.

I have discovered however a beacon of light that was in my back pocket all along. A tonic of sorts for the mind, heart and soul, that even in the darkest of days can comfort and sooth me. Bringing my bruised sorry ass self back into the light and beginning to brush away the grey fog that was limiting my view, polluting my perspective.

My beacon of light is this… the fact that we aren’t small, that we aren’t ever alone. That we are made of the same stuff as the moon and stars in the sky, as the incomprehensible entirety of the universe, that’s all us.

“The first peace, which is the most important, is that which comes within the souls of people when they realize their relationship, their oneness with the universe and all its powers, and when they realize at the center of the universe dwells the Great Spirit, and that its center is really everywhere, it is within each of us.” ~ Black Elk

Everything is already inside us, everything that we seek. Even the whole universe is within each of us. To me, there’s no more comforting and grounding knowledge than this.


“Recognize that the very molecules that make up your body, the atoms that construct the molecules, are traceable to the crucibles that were once the centers of high mass stars that exploded their chemically rich guts into the galaxy, enriching pristine gas clouds with the chemistry of life. So that we are all connected to each other biologically, to the earth chemically and to the rest of the universe atomically. That’s kinda cool! That makes me smile and I actually feel quite large at the end of that. It’s not that we are better than the universe; we are part of the universe. We are in the universe and the universe is in us.” ~ Neil deGrasse Tyson

I mean how astonishingly amazing is this! When I contemplate the vastness of the universe, yet how we are all still connected to all of it, this greatly humbles me. How can I be so hard on myself with this knowledge? I can’t.

I hope that in your dark days you can reach into your back pocket and hold this knowledge in your heart, in your mind and soul, and be comforted as well. It won’t eliminate these days completely, it hasn’t for me.

However when I remind myself of these simple yet huge facts, I can’t help but be in awe. I can only do my very best to put aside my personal beefs with myself and the trivial day to day ego bull-shit and surrender, at the amplitude of it all, at our shared magnificence.


Originally posted on Rebelle Society.


Filed under Out There in the World, Rebelle Society

The Unexpected Art of Surrender


Stale worries and breath like a knot in the throat.

I’ve been trying so hard to let go but to no avail, and then one day, out of the blue, I crumple down, tears streaming from my cheeks and I release.

My breath returns and I’m lighter, lighter.
I find myself, and clarity, through surrender.

As the song “In the Sun/Om Mani Padme Hum” came on in my mix earlier today, this happened, as it happens every now and then. My world stops and I’m suddenly able to surrender. When I try to make sense of how this release happens, and what leads me to finally let my worries go, I’m not able to entirely make sense of it. The word grace however comes to mind.

When I look back at the amount of conscious effort I sometimes spend working on letting go of the uncertainty, the fears that haunt my mind, I realize how shitty I can be towards myself (which I’m guessing many of you can relate to) and in turn, can’t help but smile at the fact that time and time again all that my worries, fears and doubts need is a little bit of time to run their course.

And being caught in between all you wish for and all you seen
And trying to find anything you can feel that you can believe in

May God’s love be with you
May God’s love be with you

There’s a lot of talk about letting go, surrendering, and releasing. That we have to do this, that it’s something we need to do, but how do we really go about doing this?

You can read all the books in the world, talk to all the people you can talk to, and yet for the most part, this letting go and surrendering often remains elusive. I’ve come across a pattern however. It’s a building of sorts in which the ego clings and grasping ensues which leads to uneasiness and the desire for these feelings to be gone. It’s usually at this point I tell myself “I need to let go”. And I try. I try my hardest, but in my heart I’m still attached, I cling.

I’ve come to realize however that if we consciously do the work of bringing our awareness to that surrender, it’s not a matter of trying harder but rather of letting time do its own work. And then one day, we inevitably experience a shift.

So we do the work, we show up every day to the best of our abilities and with every little step we get closer. Until one day it happens, we unexpectedly surrender.


“The meaning of this mantra is: with ‘OM’ we are calling Avalokiteshvara, ‘MANI’ means the precious jewel of enlightenment, ‘PADME’ means liberation and ‘HUM’ means bestow. Together, the meaning is: ‘O Avalokiteshvara, please bestow the precious jewel of enlightenment to liberate all living beings. Through the recitation of this mantra we train in the compassionate mind of bodhichitta.” ~ Geshe Kelsang Gyatso

May we all experience this surrendering and the freedom in that liberation, Om Manu Padme Hum.

Originally posted on Rebelle Society.

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Filed under Out There in the World, Rebelle Society, Uncategorized